Are You There Journal, It’s Me, Erika: number four

Dear Journal, 

I think I’m afraid. I’m not doing what I want to be doing. I’m not trying hard enough to achieve my dreams and goals. I am not doing my best to get to the next chapter. I beat myself up over these things. And beating myself up is not creating any positive changes in the matter. It’s like I’m chasing my tail. Circle after circle after circle. Ad infinitum. Why aren’t I writing more? Why haven’t I replaced my laptop battery yet? Why am I not researching? Why am I wasting day after day after day? Am I right where I’m supposed to be? Or am I afraid of moving forward? Those are the questions swirling ‘round my head. I feel anxious. (Sidebar: I found the most wonderful podcast called Shoot From the Heart: Filmmaking / Screenwriting / Inspiration. It’s one part, every nook and cranny of filmmaking, one part, spirituality)