Posts

World AIDS Day

Back in the 90s I watched as many of my friends, family, and co-workers began to wither away as their bodies were being ravaged by AIDS. I recall cleaning up throw-up, funerals, and turning to say something to Daniel, only to be met with an empty seat. So many empty seats... A seemingly never ending cloud of despair and panic hovered over the Crescent City. Our weekends dancing and drinking and making out at The Bourbon Pub and Parade or The Monster Bar, unbeknownst to us, would soon turn into bittersweet memories of a time that will never again be; the waning sound of Deep House and Buffalo Stance and laughter disappearing through the cracks in the floor boards and ceiling—their bodies were no more. But their soul and humanity and love are welcome ghosts whom I gladly allow to haunt my heart. I will never forget.

Crazy

If one more Black person gets 911 called on them or accidentally gets shot by a pig because don’t you know all Afros look the same or gets purposely shot by a cop because they hate us while the Chads and Katies eat their indifference and apathy and fear and hate by stuffing it all down their shiny throats before returning to their pink and blue beds at three with all the other stepfords who want to make ameriKKKa great again....I’m gonna go batshit crazy.

Tornilla

Image
I cannot act as though this is not a chilling and concerning matter. This is not right. These babies are growing scars on their hearts from being treated as less than human. This current hateful authoritarian administration is an ever expanding conflagration. And like a boulder rolling down a hill, it builds up speed as it descends. Our situation is accelerating. We are in the eye of the storm. Don’t hold your breath. Breath. Now. We have work to do.

‘Ficus’

I like the word ‘Ficus.’ 
When I hear somebody say ‘Ficus’ I laugh. 
Sometimes I say ‘Ficus’ to 
myself so I can smile.

Will you rock me /My Heart is Weeping

My mama needs me to be okay; she's always needed me to be okay.
I am unable to retch and release these leaden bricks stuck in my throat; (but my heart is weeping...)
Disoriented and heavy; I am carrying three-times myself.
Groaning.
For days upon days upon days upon.....
I smile. Until I wince and crack.
And scream.
And crumble. Under my skin.
(I smile.)
No one can see me. No one can see.

I spend my days wondering why can't I focus. Why can I not think of what to say.

I feel so heavy.
Will you rock me?

(I've never been a soft and innocent child. Have I?)

Am I fading into a weeping heart. Make it stop.



baby / mama

in secret     my mind
       thinks of the child
    i will never give      birth
to. no one knows
     the ways in which i yearn
for my child. my heart aches
      right along with my grateful

heart.

Man on a Florentine Wall

I almost missed him
--or he almost missed me
Looming and brooding at first sight
A man in a turban wrapped in shadows
Trapped in frame

Hovering in the gloaming
His bronzed right hand hovering like Christ
The left pressed against his heart
He speaks to me--dis-ease
Or could it be resolve or acceptance or surrender

His brow creased in concern
His eyes turned on its side
Where clouds float, still, in a foreboding
sky; heavy, red brocade coat weighs down this (king?)

Carved shoulders
Hanging curtain
Just above the start
Of where his soul begins

I share his concern.