The Dream

I just woke up from a dream. A nightmare? I was the age I am now. Living with my mom, Sister, and there were, at different parts, more people there that I knew, although I can't tell you who they were. I was sleeping as I was really sleeping, in real life. I suddenly felt a heaviness over me. I opened my eyes and there was a white man over me masterbating  (I know that's illicit, but that's what was happening in my dream. Nightmare. At first I didn't fight back. I was afraid. I couldn't move. I saw him through my sheets. I began to fight back. It was so hard to move. He was so heavy. He was stronger. But my kicking finally stopped him. I lifted off my back. Kicking, hitting, and grunting. He ran. I suddenly felt so tired. I just wanted to sleep. But I couldn't. I needed to find the way he got in and fix it.

He came in through my bedroom window. I discovered that my whole window and frame were hanging on a thread. Also my curtains had fallen and everyone could see in. I felt exposed and I felt vulnerable. I had to fix the curtains, I had to secure and cover my window. I had to protect myself.

I noticed a man and a woman running. I saw cop cars and their lights. I saw cops coming up behind. More and more cars, people, lights. Many began looking into my bare window.

I told my sister what happened. I cried. She listened and cared but then just walked away. I told two more people. Same thing. My mom rushed out the house to hide something. She never came back. Luna rushed out with her and didn't come back. There were people everywhere. So many people and cops and lights. I closed and locked the kitchen door. A neighbour was somehow in the house and he asked me where I was on the 6th. And where was my mom. I told him that I couldn't remember and felt guilty for lying. (I have no idea in real life where we were on this 6th of some month.) He began schmoozing my sister and another female I knew. I needed to talk to them, I tried, but they ignored me.

Suddenly it's day time and I'm still trying to replace my curtains, but they keep falling down. I'm sitting at the open window next to my cousin Trina. She says she's bummed she has to catch the train to a funeral. I tell her I'm sorry for her loss. She says that helps. I tentatively ask her who died. Trina turns into my friend Angela Davis who passed away a few years ago. Angela answered that Dorothea passed away. My heart falls. My heart races. I am stunned and so sad. (I can't tell you who Dorothea is in real life.)

I woke up at this point from my dream.  Nightmare.