I'm Okay

Practically my whole body changed when I turned thirty. I remember discovering two coarse hair's underneath my chin that weren't there before. I remember the moment I twirled around in the mirror and caught sight of cellulite. The horror! I've always felt insecure about my body since the age of twelve. That's the age I started filling out a bit and being not only horrified about that change, but scared of my molesting father's roaming eyes. That year,  at the age of twelve, I began throwing up my food and starving myself. I continued till the age of twenty-six. Because of my negative self image, I slowly detroyed myself; my body, my teeth... It took until recently to look at my cellulite and stretch marks without being disgusted. The learning of self acceptance continues to be a struggle as my body continues to change. I often chant to myself, "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay." The struggle continues, but my commitment to loving myself, just as I am, does not waver. Loving myself is just where I am.