Speak My Truth

Before I share posts--my essays, or responses on racism or our dark  American history, I ask myself, why do I want to share this AND why DON'T I want to share this? I worry that I may upset or hurt the feelings of my white fb friends, or take the chance of my black fb friends thinking that I am being negative and living in the past. I waste precious moments worrying about the feelings of others, while considering discounting my own.

More than any other race, black people are expected to quickly turn the other cheek, suppress our processes, and move on. We are not given the space or time to learn, feel, process, share, forgive, move forward (if one can truly move forward in a world that is pervaded by systemic racism and colorism). I am enraged that my true history has been suppressed and that I am just now learning about the bulk of it. (God forbid if you feel anger over learning about black history and/or racism and personal experiences and you share about it more than twice.) I frustrate myself because I get so worried about the feelings of white (and black) people. (God forbid that a black person can't be angry over racism AND be a positive light in the world.) I get barraged with the opinions of white people on social media and in real life, and I can promise you they are not taking my feelings into consideration. But black people are conditioned to proceed gently with the feelings of white people or just remain silent. I fight this conditioning everyday...

Back to why I do share what I share on slave history, black history, women of colour history, racism, etc.... I share because if I didn't know, I would want to know. I am thirsty to know. My experiences, my pain, my voice, my resolve, my journey matters. The voices, the experiences, the history, the intellect, the strength, the layers, and the beauty of people that are black like me matter and I am deeply moved to share it with the world (my little corner of the world anyway). I choose to walk through my fear of sharing about my history and experiences as a black woman to gain pride and confidence and strength in myself, and to experience a freedom in my heart; to find my voice and speak my truth. This matters to me. Our stories matter.♡