With My Sweet Self

It's just easier this way. It was entirely too suffocatingly painful a year ago. I was powerless to make the yearnings subside. My body wanted to be touched and held so badly it made my skin hurt. It was hell for me...

I feel nothing now. Numb. No yearnings. No pain. No nothing. I am content to hang out with friends or be with my sweet self.

I have no desire to find someone online or anywhere else to partner with. It may happen one day, or it may not. I am no longer wondering or worrying about when or if.

If I have a moment when I'm feeling lonely or lustful I simply block it out and breath and remind myself how painful it is to desire what cannot be had in that moment. And the yearning quickly disappears.

My body desires nothing. My heart yearns for nothing. I am at one with myself and God. I feel free. And I am thankful for the peace.