It Does Get Me Down

Jamie, the Chicano, laughs over the fact that the slaves owned by Dutch masters were leased, "Daaaamn, my slaves aren't so great, I'm just gonna lease 'em!"

What I wanted to say to him was --stop making light of the heinous existence my ancestors had to endure; there's nothing funny about it! But I didn't say that. Instead I beat around the bush, making him nice and comfortable, even though it never crossed his mind to make me or Gregory or Yatta or Ariana feel comfortable as we discussed a painful topic.

He said something that made me respond  "Don't generalize," but like a dream, I can't remember what it was. A minute later he told me to "Don't let it get you down." As per usual, my (a Black person's) anger is halted and my (our) pain is dismissed.

I pause. What do I want to say? How do I really feel?

It does get me down, Jamie, but I don't let it weigh me down.