Self talk

So...I treated myself to a massage today and my level of self-talk is out of control. In my head, during my massage by Superstar Pam: God please don't let me pass gas. Thank you. Amen. Stay in the moment Erika, stay in the mutherfraking moment. TOO HARD PAMMMMM!!! Ou ou ou ou (Out loud: "Ouch. But no, yeah, I need this. Keep going.") Homework...ughhh, I have so much homework I need to be doing. Stay in the moment, stay in the moment. I have to pee. God, please take away my pee feeling. Thank you. Amen. Stay in the moment Erika. Haha this music sounds like it was swiped from a 1978 movie of the week. Omg Pam is amazing. I'm starting to feel relaxed. I can feel it. Stay in the moment Erika. "Okay, miss; take your time getting dressed." Thank you." Damn, that's it? Shoot. (Out loud: "Thank you, Pam.")